The wonders of flying You can call yourself an atheist – you know all that jazz about not believing in the existence of a God – but when you are 12 000 kilometres off the ground, you will convert in no time.If you have been on a plane before, you surely remember your first time. My dear friend Tjeripo can attest to that. When an opportunity beckoned for cadet reporters with the mainstream media to travel to China, many moons ago, my friend Tjeripo and I could hardly contain the excitement.
All I could think of back then was meeting ''Master Chifu'' - the great Kung Fu master who appears to have trained every great Kung Fu legend! I had a lot of questions for him - for instance, why is it that his students managed to fight on tree top branches, roofs and even the moon itself!
I know it must be protocol, but the things they tell you before you fly makes you want to think twice about getting on that plane. It’s like a scene from one of those movies about going into space and saving the world by sacrificing yourself to be the target of a loose meteorite!
Ja, the part where the entire human race gathers at the foot of your spaceship, some watching over live television, as you make your slow-motion entrance into the space ship. Mind you, they clap hands after you take off – what the hell? Shouldn’t someone be crying her lungs out – I am on a suicide mission for crying out loud.
The cabin attendants are tasked with the ensuring your safety. To execute their work thoroughly, they show you how to escape the plane in cases of emergencies and how to put on an oxygen mask when needed.
And there I am, seated in my window seat, seeing dear ground getting smaller and smaller as we take off. At that point I am thinking to myself – ‘emergency exit from the plane”? Exit to where – cloud nine? Nah, I’d rather put on the oxygen mask and remain in my tiny seat.
As the plane took off, Tjeripo''s nerves couldn''t hold it any longer. He closed his eyes and started giving praise to the ancestors. All I could do was help him along by shouting "Ijoooo….brrrrrrr…Ijoooo…"
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see some tourist taking pictures and clapping in rhythm to our ululations and traditional battle cries. I bet they were thinking we are on some kind of ‘rain dance’.
When the pilot announced that we are now flying over the Red Sea and are about to enter the airspace of Italy, my dear friend could not take it anymore.
I recalled the story from the bible about the Red Sea. The details were vague - did the Israelites drown in the Red Sea or did they cross it. Wait a minute, I think they crossed it - but their leader Moses drowned! No man, Moses died on some mountain - he didn''t drown! My thoughts were going wild!
At that moment, I started missing simple thing about Namibia, like that big camelthorn tree near my mother''s place in Goreangab location! I silently said a prayer to myself, promising to ''come back to you, my beloved camelthorn tree''. I joined Tjeripo in singing "You can take my body, but not my soul…."
When the plane eventually touched down at Frankfurt, we were both ready to bow down to the pilot. His wish is our command! We waited on the runway to catch a glimpse of this brave son of the soil.
After a few minutes, a figure appeared in the plane doorway. Its hair was being brushed onto its face by the wind. The figure walked in slow motion down the staircase, clutching one of those big black suitcases in one hand. As the figure comes closer, Tjeripo exclaimed;
"Mbuae otjiiti… it’s a woman. Charlie, the ''driver'' of the plane was a woman all along. Eish, we almost died….ijoooooo."
I didn''t say a word. Tjeripo is from a different dispensation, he wouldn''t understand the difference between gender and sex. I simply straightened my tie, tested my voice and rushed in front of her to get her number.
With a woman like that, we can surely go places!
Until then…